“Painshare” is what we call the equitable distribution of consequences that were not equitably caused. The project ran over budget. The quarter missed. The client left. These things have authors, but authorship is a complicated conversation with HR implications and a tendency to produce documentation, so instead we painshare. The pain goes into a common pool. The pool is divided. The division is described as solidarity, which it is, in the same way that a mandatory fun day is camaraderie.

The mechanics favor altitude. A painshare typically asks the people closest to the work to absorb a proportionally larger share of consequences they had the least authority to prevent, while the people who made the decisions that produced the pain participate symbolically. The VP takes a visible haircut on discretionary budget. The team takes the actual haircut. Both are announced but usually, only one is photographed for the internal newsletter under the heading “Leading by Example.”

What the word does well is launder the transaction. “Cuts” implies a cutter and a cut. “Painshare” implies a weather event, something that arrived from outside and is now being managed collectively by people of goodwill who are in this together. The passive construction is load-bearing. The pain is shared. By whom, from what, in what proportion: these are downstream questions for a working group that will circle back.

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Maximilian ROI has spent thirty years inside organizations large enough to have a Vision Statement and self-aware enough to ignore it. He has run the offsites. He has said synergy in front of a board, with a straight face and a waterfall chart, and meant it.

Today, Max is the Dean of Steerania’s School of Bullshit. He describes this as his pro bono contribution to society. He takes the role completely seriously, which is itself the joke.

The dictionary exists because the language of business is a craft, and like most crafts it is easier to participate in than to explain. Max has decided, at this point in his career, that explanation is the more interesting option. He is not here to expose the system. He helped build it.