“Socialise the learnings” is how we ask someone to send an email when we need the request to sound like it was worth the meeting. The email will contain an update, or a document, or a summary of what was discussed in the session that produced the learnings in question. The recipient list will include people who could have been told this in a sentence. None of that is new. What is new is the framing: the information is not being forwarded, it is being socialised, which implies that the information has a life outside the inbox, that it moves through the organisation organically, that it is adopted rather than received.

The noun does equal work. “Update” suggests something happened and someone is reporting it. “Learnings” suggests something happened and the organisation grew from it, which is a different transaction entirely and a considerably more valuable one to have on the record. The project ran late. The client pushed back. The launch numbers came in below the model. These are updates. Once socialised, they become learnings, which means they are no longer evidence of anything except our commitment to continuous improvement, which is a phrase that appears in our values and therefore cannot be used against us.

The socialisation itself is rarely social. It is a PDF in a shared drive where the access rights are still pending. Or it is an email that arrives on a Friday with a subject line beginning “FYI” and a body that begins “As discussed.” The learning sit in the folder with other learnings from the previous initiatives.

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Maximilian ROI has spent thirty years inside organizations large enough to have a Vision Statement and self-aware enough to ignore it. He has run the offsites. He has said synergy in front of a board, with a straight face and a waterfall chart, and meant it.

Today, Max is the Dean of Steerania’s School of Bullshit. He describes this as his pro bono contribution to society. He takes the role completely seriously, which is itself the joke.

The dictionary exists because the language of business is a craft, and like most crafts it is easier to participate in than to explain. Max has decided, at this point in his career, that explanation is the more interesting option. He is not here to expose the system. He helped build it.