“Circle back” is a scheduling commitment with no date attached, which is the only kind of scheduling commitment that carries no risk. We will circle back on this. The circling is forthcoming. When it arrives, it will arrive organically, which is a word we use to mean without being asked, which means it will not arrive at all unless someone asks, which means the question of whether it arrives has been quietly transferred to the person who raised the issue in the first place.

The geometry is the tell. A circle has no end point and no angles, which means no corners, no friction, no moment where resistance is structurally possible. We did not choose “return to this” or “schedule a follow-up” or “I’ll send you something by Thursday.” We chose the shape that offers no surfaces to push against, and we said it with the tone of someone doing the other person a favor. That is the selling side of the phrase. The delay is presented as smoothness. The deferral arrives as a gift, a promise that when we do return, the return will be frictionless and worth the wait. The item exists now in a state of permanent adjacency to the agenda. It is always about to be circled back to.

What makes the phrase structurally useful is that it requires the other person’s cooperation to fail. They have to forget. Or give up. Or decide the issue resolved itself, which issues sometimes do, which is the real basis on which “circle back” operates as a portfolio strategy. A meaningful percentage of circled-back items will become irrelevant before anyone returns to them. The rest can be circled back to again. The circle accommodates unlimited laps.

The follow-up email is the only known antidote.

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Maximilian ROI has spent thirty years inside organizations large enough to have a Vision Statement and self-aware enough to ignore it. He has run the offsites. He has said synergy in front of a board, with a straight face and a waterfall chart, and meant it.

Today, Max is the Dean of Steerania’s School of Bullshit. He describes this as his pro bono contribution to society. He takes the role completely seriously, which is itself the joke.

The dictionary exists because the language of business is a craft, and like most crafts it is easier to participate in than to explain. Max has decided, at this point in his career, that explanation is the more interesting option. He is not here to expose the system. He helped build it.