“Add value” is what you call an improvement the client did not request and will not notice.

It’s a “feature” not a flaw. The work of adding value is not oriented toward the client. It is oriented toward the internal presentation that follows. A new feature nobody asked for photographs well on a slide. A revised framework with an additional tier demonstrates strategic thinking. A complimentary service bundled into the proposal shows generosity. None of these required the client to express a need. They required someone to fill a deck before Thursday.

The client is largely decorative in this exercise. Their satisfaction is assumed in advance and confirmed afterward through a survey they will not complete. What matters is that the added value is legible to the people in the room who approved it, that it has a name, a box on the slide, and an arrow pointing to it from something that existed before. The arrow is important. Value must be seen to flow from somewhere.

The phrase earns its keep because nobody can argue against it directly. Saying “that adds no value” requires defining value, and that conversation has never been worth having.

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Maximilian ROI has spent thirty years inside organizations large enough to have a Vision Statement and self-aware enough to ignore it. He has run the offsites. He has said synergy in front of a board, with a straight face and a waterfall chart, and meant it.

Today, Max is the Dean of Steerania’s School of Bullshit. He describes this as his pro bono contribution to society. He takes the role completely seriously, which is itself the joke.

The dictionary exists because the language of business is a craft, and like most crafts it is easier to participate in than to explain. Max has decided, at this point in his career, that explanation is the more interesting option. He is not here to expose the system. He helped build it.